By Peter Adams                                                                             
Author of VisualFestation                                                               
www.VisualFestation.com 

My Wife and I love to go to a local restaurant which has excellent Mexican food.  We have been dining at this restaurant for roughly four years.  One of our favorite dishes to order off of the menu is “Mexican Egg Rolls”.  We first saw these ordered by another patron years ago, and they were so big that we had to ask what dish it was.  The lady who ordered them said that they were amazing and it was her favorite dish.  

The Mexican Egg Rolls is a delicacy made out of shredded chicken, cheddar cheese, and sliced jalapeños peppers which are wrapped in a tortilla and deep fried.  The restaurant likes to use jalapeños which are really hot, so we typically remove them, but we often times don’t find them all until it is too late.  

Last week we were sitting near to the Owners of the restaurant and when we commented about how much we liked their food, especially the Mexican Egg Rolls.  We also said we try to avoid eating the jalapeños, and how often times missed one forcing us to drink a full glass of ice water.

The Owners of the restaurant then told us to just order them and tell the waitress to “hold” the jalapeños.  They said that the dish was made to order and that you could also mix and match the ingredients.  We were in shock, as we had always “assumed” that they were a packaged dish that was from a vendor.
 
How many times in our lives do we settle for not living the life of our dreams, but instead make assumptions that we cannot for whatever reason.  In the example above, it never occurred to us that we could have the dish exactly the way we wanted it.  The whole time we settled for digging out the jalapeños, when all we had to do was ask and we could have had them the exact way we wanted them.
 
There is nothing you cannot Be, Do, or Have.  Get clear on what you want.  If your life is giving you jalapeños and you don’t like it, change your order and ask for what it is that you want.  

When life seems overwhelming, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to let go of what we are hanging on to. The problem is, sometimes we don’t realize we are hanging on.  One sign to look for is an endless cycle of thoughts that get you nowhere other than where you began.  Another is physical symptoms. Our bodies are always talking to us.  Have you ever woken up with a stiff neck, yet there is no apparent reason for it? If you look a little deeper, often you will find you had a particularly stressful or challenging week.  These signs are our minds and bodies telling us to ‘back off’.  Instead of obsessing over the same problem over and over (which only makes things worse), try taking a walk, calling a friend, or doing something 'out of the box'. And always apply the 80/20 rule:  spend 20% of the time figuring out what the problem is, and 80% on resolving it.    Anything that is out of your control is best just tossed away.  Ask yourself - what am I holding on to?  What can I do TODAY to simplify?

Sometimes we get stuck in the middle ground of ‘should I – shouldn’t I’, unable to make a decision.  It is important to think through decisions carefully, especially big impact important ones.   However overanalyzing can be counter-productive. This can come into play with decisions such as changing jobs, moving to another city, trying something new, etc.  The other aspect that can work against us is getting bogged down in fear or the ‘why nots’.  This can happen with health related goals such as weight loss, quitting smoking, starting an exercise program, etc.  Sometimes it’s best to stop thinking, let go, take the leap and go for it. Just decide, and DO!